


The Wonderful Thing About Basements

by campylobacter



Category: The X-Files
Genre: Episode Related, F/M, Filk, Parody
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 1998-06-01
Updated: 1998-06-01
Packaged: 2017-10-09 05:16:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 174
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/83438
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/campylobacter/pseuds/campylobacter
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Song for the Season 5 finale "The End".</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Wonderful Thing About Basements

[CSM:]  
The wonderful thing about basements   
Is basements are flammable things  
Their x-files are made out of paper  
To which most accelerants cling  
They brightly, lightly, spritely, nightly  
Burn burn burn burn burn  
But the most meaningful thing about basements  
Is none of your concern

[MULDER:]  
The wonderful thing about basements  
Is basements hold only one desk  
Providing some intimate placements  
Should Scully feel somewhat burlesque  
They're sneaky, leaky, creaky, freaky  
Fun fun fun fun fun  
But the most beautiful thing about basements  
They scare off everyone

[SKINNER: (musical bridge)]  
Basements are so unobtrusive  
Basements are thankfully cheap   
Federal funding's elusive  
That's why there's no heat

[SCULLY:]  
The damnable thing about basements  
Is arson's a possible risk  
Our files combust as though an ignitable liquid, judging by the burn patterns, was employed -- but forensics should determine through debris analysis and gas chromotonomy the precise cause  
I hope we have saved them on disk  
They're scary, hairy, incendiary  
Done done done done done  
But the most pitiful thing about basements:  
The next ep's a rerun.

**Author's Note:**

> Apologies to Pooh and Disney's lawyers. Burn, baby, burn! Flame me!


End file.
